The Drug In Me Is You
by KilljoyBaby
Summary: Alice Watson, a young girl is sent to Arkham Asylum after being involved in a brutal murder case catches the attention of a certain doctor. Rated M for later chapters involving violence, language and sexual themes. Starts pre-Batman Begins. Jonathan Crane/OC
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Batman or Jonathan Crane (unfortunately :P) , just my own characters :)**

**This is my first fanfic so please be nice, if you don't like it don't read it. Rated mature for later chapters **

**Hope you enjoy ^^**

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**A trip to the hospital**

I woke up to see I was in an unfamiliar room, a hospital? Why? I felt something wrapped around my head, a bandage maybe. I tried sitting up but I couldn't move my arms or legs, I looked down at them and saw restraints. Panic set in, my breathing was shallow and my heart rate had increased. I struggled to free myself, while trying to remember why and how I got here. The more I moved, the more my body ached from all the cuts and bruises on my body. After minutes of wriggling I stopped, hearing the door open, I looked to see who had entered the room, a woman. A doctor? She was young, in her late twenties. She had long blonde hair tied up in a ponytail and blue eyes, in my opinion she wore a bit too much makeup, she was a doctor not a model. Maybe I was just jealous of her beauty. I wasn't beautiful, not ugly either. Just average, i was short and thin with dirty blonde hair that was always in my face. My pale skin gave me an ill complexion and I had grayish blue eyes, they would be pretty if not for the dark bags under them from lack of sleep.

"Hello Miss Watson, my name is Doctor Gray," She said, in a hesitant sounding voice, "do you know why you're here?" I shook my head. She walked over to the chair next to the bed and sat down, without taking her eyes off of me.

"What happened? Where am I? Where's my mum?" I panicked, shaking slightly. The doctor frowned, and wrote something down on her little notepad.

"We've called your mother, she'll be leaving England on a plane tonight. And you're in Gotham General. How do you feel?"

"My whole body aches, i'm tired and scared." I moaned.

"You have a fair few minor scrapes and bruises. You also have a deep wound on the side of your head, but nothing fatal." I relaxed slightly.

"Can you take these off?" I asked quietly, looking down at the restraints.

"No, it's a necessary precaution… What is the last thing you remember?" She asked sternly.

"I…" I started but had to think back, I knew something was missing but I couldn't remember what it was, "I don't know… I was on my way home from college and then I saw a van pull up next to me… I don't remember anything after that."

"The police will want to talk to you," She said, looking away, "I'll tell them you're awake."

I watched as she left the room, she gave me a sympathetic look before she closed the door behind her. I lay there, confused and scared. I closed my eyes and tried to think.

**God, this is so boring. **I opened my eyes after hearing the voice. "Who's there?" I asked. I looked around the room; there was no one but me. After a couple of minutes wondering if I was hearing things, the door opened and closed. I was still too busy trying to figure the whole situation out to realise someone had sat beside me on the chair.

"Alice Watson, is that your name?" I snapped back into reality and looked at the person sitting there. A middle aged man, dressed in a police uniform. He had short brown hair, with several grey strands here and there and tanned skin. I nodded to the question he asked.

"The doctor said you are unaware of what has happened to you," he said, I nodded again. The man cleared his throat and flipped open his small notebook, "You were found last night in an abandoned house with four men… They were all dead, when we found you, we tried to help you but you assaulted two of my officers and almost escaped. Before we could restrain you, you passed out."

I stared at him with wide eyes; I must have looked like a crazy person. "No, I don't remember it… You must have the wrong person."

"I was there; I was the first one to find you…" he said, "You were standing over one of the men with a knife in your hands, covered in blood and laughing. You look so much different now, so innocent."

I shook my head, "I couldn't have done anything to anyone, I'm not like that!" I cried.

"We have sufficient evidence that shows that you killed all those men, we would take you into custody but the doctors need to do a full psych evaluation seeing as say you don't remember anything that happened." He looked slightly angry as he shuffled in his seat. I looked away from him and started to cry, how could this happen? I didn't kill anyone, there's no way someone as small as me could overpower a group of men let alone one. I heard him say something else but I wasn't listening, I didn't want to. He left and I was on my own again.

The day dragged on, having doctors ask me the same questions over and over. When one doctor asked if I heard any voices I went quiet. Did I? It only happened once; it didn't mean I was going mad did it? Of course not, it was nothing. I told the doctor, "Do you have many blackouts?"

"I used to… When I was younger," I thought back to six years ago, when I was fourteen. For a while I was ill, I barely remember anything until I got better. My mother rarely spoke about it; she'd get upset when she did so I stopped asking. It was around the time when my father died, I don't even remember that but it didn't upset me. I hated him; he was abusive and hurt my mother whenever he drank. Then he turned to me when I was a teenager, I never told anyone. I was scared. **You were Weak. **

I looked up; the voice had interrupted my trail of thought. Same voice as before, I looked around and only saw me and the doctor.

"Alice? Are you alright?" He asked, sensing that something was wrong. I looked at him.

"It was the voice again…" I muttered.

"What did it say?" He leaned forward.

"She called me weak." I looked at the ceiling, "I need to get stronger."

After a while, the doctor stopped writing and spoke, "I think this is a case of Dissociative Identity Disorder, do you know what that is?" I nodded. "I will discuss this with other doctors, and I'll come back to talk about the treatment." He saw the look on my face and his expression softened, "don't worry, we'll help you." He smiled and left the room.

**They're going to put you in a mad house, **she laughed.

"No, they're going to help me to get rid of you" I said quietly.

**You'll never get rid of me, surprised you don't even remember me. Quite upsetting really, we had so much fun together, **she pretended to sound upset.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

**You think I'm just going to tell you without anything in return? No, I'm going to make this into a game, I know how much you love games, It's the only thing we have in common,** she laughed again, this time it was higher and crueller.

I frowned, and stopped talking. I noticed she had stopped as well, giving me some peace and quiet which I was thankful for but I still wondered what she was going to make me do.

It took a while for the doctor to come back; he looked at me sympathetically as he sat down. He sighed and fidgeted with his pen, "I've spoke to the doctors and the police and we've all decided that you're to be moved…"

"Am I moving to another hospital?" I asked.

"Not exactly… You're being moved to Arkham." He replied.

"Arkham Asylum?" he nodded. I stared at him, not believing that I'd go to a place like that, a place full of killers, rapists and the insane. I'm not insane, I heard her laughing, **down the rabbit hole we go, Alice. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter 2 :) enjoy!**

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**A ****new home**

I lay there in my hospital bed, free from the restraints but having to deal with two policemen outside my room, waiting for me to get better so they can send me off to the mad house. I was leaving tomorrow morning, most of the time I cried. When my mother came, she was different, didn't stay long enough to have a conversation with me, just dropped off my clothes and left. I curled up in the bed, trying to stop myself from crying when I heard someone come in. I turned to see who it was, another policeman.

"Hello Miss Watson, I'm Officer Gordon" He smiled, probably feeling sorry for me. He sat down and took out some pictures. "I came to talk about-"

"The men I killed…" I finished his sentenced, looking at my hands.

"Do you still not remember anything?" he asked, "This is important, just go through the day and take your time."

I kept my eyes on my hands, while I rubbed them and scratched them as if they were still blood-stained. "I woke up at six in the morning, got ready for college and left around half eight. I went straight to college and stayed until four. As I was walking home I saw a black van pull up next to me and…" I tried to think, I'd had a dream in the night. It wasn't clear but I think it was about what happened to me. "Someone grabbed me from behind, they hit me and I fell on the ground…" I looked up at Gordon with tears in my eyes, "I can't remember anything else…"

"It's okay, you just need time," he put the pictures on the bed next to me; "These are photos of the men who were found dead." I picked them up and stared at the first one, the man's face was battered and bloody, he had a small knife in his chest. I went through the rest of them, feeling more and more disgusted, they kept on getting worse and I felt tears run down my cheeks. I stared at the last one, eyes wide and feeling like I was going to throw up. The young man, probably fairly good looking had a deep gash across his face, his abdomen was torn open and his guts had been pulled half way out. I couldn't take my eyes off it, how could I have done this? Was it someone else…Was it her?

"Miss Watson?" I heard Gordon speak, "You can look away now, are you okay?"

I put my hand over my mouth and shook my head, "No… I could never do this to anyone…"

Gordon took the pictures from me and shoved them back in his pocket, "I'm sorry, I know about your disorder, this isn't your fault." He put a hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me. "There has to be something that triggered it though, what was your childhood like?"

"Fine…" I lied. He sighed and stood up.

"I have to go, but I hope you get better," he said, "A girl like you doesn't deserve to go to a place like Arkham." I didn't say anything; I just looked back at my hands and listened to him leave.

**What did you think then**? She asked smugly.

"Horrible… How could you do that?" I asked, wiping the tears away.

**It was easy, they deserved it! They were perverted bastards who I thoroughly enjoyed killing. **She sounded angry.

"What did they do…?"

**Nothing you need to worry about right now little one, I'll keep you safe until you learn not to be so pathetic.** She replied. It almost sounded as if she cared.

I sighed and lay back down, it was getting late and I'd have to get up early in the morning. I scratched around the dressing on the side of my head and closed my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

I looked around my surroundings, my new room, and my new home. Arkham Asylum. The room wasn't much, a small bed, no windows and a small mirror on the wall. I looked at my reflection; my eyes were wild and bloodshot from no sleep along with even darker circles under my eyes. My hair was slightly greasy and hung in front of my face; I certainly looked like I fitted in here despite feeling terrified of what will happen.

I heard the other inmates shouting, swearing and fighting. The orderly who showed me my room was kind enough, although I hated the way he looked at me; like an object he wanted to be his. I paced around, still in my clothes I came here in, wondering how long I'll be here or if I was ever going to leave. Eventually, the door opened and a young female nurse came in. She smiled kindly, "You must be Alice, my name's Jenny, I'm here to make you feel as comfortable as possible while you stay here. But first we need to get you looking nice and pretty again."

"What?" I raised an eyebrow, how can someone be so cheery in a place like this.

"You need a shower, and I can let you borrow my makeup if you want," She laughed slightly, "come one, we don't have long and bring those." She pointed to the orange clothes on the bed before turning to leave. I picked them up and hurried after her.

"So… Did they tell you about me?" I asked, hesitantly.

"Yes, poor thing," She said, slightly patronisingly, "Don't worry, you're safe here and we'll get you better."

We reached the shower room and she motioned me to go in, telling me she'll be outside. I went in and undressed; leaving my clothes on the side I turned on the shower and stood there as the warm water washed all the dirt and grease from my skin. I used the small block of soup to wash any remaining dirt off, and then washed my hair with the small bottles of shampoo and conditioner. Really, was everything small here?

After pulling on the orange pants, white vest top and orange jacket I walked out to meet jenny, "Right, we need to go see Doctor Crane, after your session I'll take you on a tour around this place."

"Who's Doctor Crane?" I asked, doing up the buttons on my jacket.

"He'll be your psychiatrist, he may come off cold but he's the best there is around here," She replied then giggled a bit, "not bad looking either."

After a couple of minutes of walking, we stopped at a door and Jenny knocked.

"Come in," A voice called. She opened the door and walked inside, I followed. "Doctor, I have Miss Watson here to see you." I looked around the room; it was nice, better than the rest of this place. I spotted a comfy looking couch which I felt like jumping on and having a nap, I then turned to the desk and the man sitting behind it. He was young, with dark brown hair which was neat, just like the rest of him. He had bright blue eyes, mesmerising yet unnerving. He wore a pair of framed glasses which made him look even more intelligent than he probably already was. He looked at me and turned to Jenny, "you can leave us now." She nodded and left. I stood there looking awkward. "You may sit down." I nodded and sat on the chair on the other side of his desk.

"How are you feeling, Miss Watson?" He asked, with a blank expression on his face, I looked down and shrugged.

"I guess I'm feeling pretty bad… I was living a normal life, and then suddenly this happens…" I replied quietly, he caught on to my accent.

"You're not American?" I shook my head.

"English, I came here to study. Funnily enough, I was studying psychology… I wanted to become a criminal psychologist but I guess that idea's gone down the drain."

He had an interested look on his face, "That's interesting, how long have you been studying?"

I looked up, surprised, "I was in my second year."

We discussed my course, what I was good and bad at, my ambitions and then the conversation changed to now, what had happened and why I was there, I went through what I could remember just like with everyone else.

"What is she like?" He asked. I looked at him, this was a new question.

"Violent, she thrives off the pain of others, physically and emotionally… She's also protective of me," I mumbled, I didn't like talking about her.

"Does she have a name?"

I thought for a while, "No…"

**Yes, it's Bella. **

She took me by surprise and i jumped, "oh... Bella."

Crane looked at me, raising an eyebrow.

"Her name... Her name is Bella." I said, smiling at the name.

"Such a pretty name for someone so violent." He smiled, I laughed and nodded. Why did I feel so relaxed, it felt good.

There was a knock at the door, "Come in," I turned and saw Jenny.

"I'm sorry doctor, I can come back later."

"It's fine," he turned to me, "We'll talk again tomorrow." I nodded and stood up.

"It was a pleasure to meet you doctor," I said before i walked out.

"You too Miss Watson," He nodded goodbye.

"Please, call me Alice."


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for those who've reviewed, Favorited and are following :) would be great to have more reviews though :P  
**

**Anyway, here's chapter 3, this one's a little bit shorter and darker than the others. enjoy :)**

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**Just a dream**

**Please, call me Alice, **She mocked. There was a hint of rage in her voice; **you're getting too close to him… Stop telling him everything he asks for.**

"Why? He's helping me. Is that why you were quiet for the most part, because you didn't like him? I thought he was nice…" I sat on my bed, back against the wall and hugging my knees.

**I don't like anyone who wants to know our secrets unless I want them to. He's going to hurt you, it's what people do.**

I shook my head, I didn't reply but she made it so it was the only thing on my mind. I went through the day; apart from the session with Doctor Crane it was uneventful. I just kept my head down low and got through without a scratch, hopefully it will remain that way in the future. "Must be late…" I muttered, sliding down the wall and kicking off most of my clothes, then curling up under the thin blanket.

**Sweet dreams, little one**, Bella giggled before I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

_It was dark. I looked around, trying to make out what was in the room apart from me. A bed, a desk and some chairs. I was sitting against the cold wall, supporting my head with my hands. It felt like someone had just hit it with a brick, I put my hand over the side of my head, where it hurt the most. It was wet. Blood? Was I bleeding? I panicked and tried to stand up, only to get dizzy and fall flat on my face. Suddenly, the room was flooded with light as a door opened. I looked up to see four figures walk in._

"_Looks like our cute little doll's awake," one of them chuckled._

"_Yeah, finally we can have a bit of fun," another laughed. They all laughed. I backed up and hit the wall, shaking and crying. I stared at them all, they were beaten and bloody. Large knife wounds to their chests and abdomens, leaking blood and guts. One of them lunged at me, I jumped out of the way but he grabbed my legs. I screamed and kicked, I felt wet hands on my wrist, holding me in place as the remaining two crouched down either side of me. I snapped my eyes shut, but I could still smell the blood, it made me feel sick. I could feel it dripping on my face, their hands were touching and feeling me all over my body, all I could do was scream, I was helpless._

"_your skin's so soft," I heard one of them say, as he pulled me away from the others and slammed me against the wall, pinning me there with his body. I felt him lift up my top and lay something cold and sharp against it. I opened my eyes and looked down; it was a large carving knife._

"_W-Wait," I sobbed, "please don't do this."_

"_Shush now, doll," He chuckled, as he dragged the knife across my stomach, leaving a deep cut. I winced at the pain and struggled. He turned me around so I was facing him; he grabbed my chin to stop me looking away. There were several cuts on his face, two deep ones, so deep I could see the bone. His brown bloodshot eyes were full of greed and lust, and his messy back hair was caked in dirt and blood. He leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek then moved down to my lips. I tried to wriggle free but he was too strong, it didn't stop me though. Eventually he got annoyed, and bit my lip hard, causing it to bleed. He moved his face away from mine and smiled. _

"_Until next time, sweetheart," I felt something being dug into my stomach, then I felt the pain. He walked away laughing with the others as I looked down at the knife sticking in me. I saw the blood flowing out; I was shaking, growing weaker. Then it all went dark, was I dead?_

* * *

I woke up and bolted upright, panting and soaking with sweat. I put my hand over my stomach, there was nothing there. "Just a dream…"

"How are you feeling?" A voice asked, making me jump. I looked up and saw Jenny leaning against the wall looking at me with a worried look.

"I'm fine… It was just a bad dream, why are you here?" I asked, calming down from my nightmare.

"You were screaming… I came to wake you up but you wouldn't so I waited here, are you sure you're okay?" I nodded, trying to keep a straight face but I ended up crying. Jenny sat down next to me and put her arms around me, "it's okay, you safe here."

"I know… It's just… It was so horrible," I sobbed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.

"No… I'll be fine, really," I smiled sadly, "It wasn't real, it was a dream."


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to everyone who's following, Favorited and reviewed :) It makes me happy that people actually like it :P

Here's Chapter 4 :D enjoy!

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**The first dose **

~Crane's POV~

**So when do we get to have a bit of fun with this one**, Scarecrow chuckled.

"Soon, very soon," Jonathan replied, finishing off his paperwork before the session with Alice. It had been a week since Alice's arrival and he could feel Scarecrow trying to gain control so he could have his way with her. Something had been bothering him though; she had been so open with him in their first session but in the recent days she's been quiet and withdrawn. _She's an interesting one, not like the others,_ he thought.

**I don't see what's so different 'bout her. All I care about is making her scream… Or maybe you like her, **Scarecrow jested, **she is a pretty little thing, Johnny-boy. **

"I don't like her," Jonathan said with an annoyed tone in his voice, "Once I use my toxin, she'll just be like all the other crazies here."

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~Alice's POV~

I sat alone in the Rec room, Reading. I tried to block out the noise everyone else was making but it was just making me angry.

"Hey! What are you doing?" A voice asked, I looked up and saw a girl. She was probably around the same age as me but with dark brown messy hair and wild green eyes.

"Reading…" I muttered, looking back at the book.

"I'm Lily, I've seen you around but you don't talk to anyone so I thought I'd say hi," She said, rather fast, "what's your name?"

"Alice," I replied, "why do you want to know?"

"Thought we could be friends, I only just got here a couple of weeks ago myself," She chirped, I was slightly annoyed at her hyper personality.

I shrugged, "okay." Before I knew it she was hugging me and saying something about her being so happy and that we're going to have so much fun together. I froze at the immediate human contact automatically and stayed still until she let go. I picked up the book she knocked out of my hand and started reading again. Minutes past as I had to listen to her rant on about how terrible her life was here, which just made me feel even worse than I was already feeling. I saw another figure walk over and looked up to see Jenny.

"Hey Alice, it's time for you to see Doctor Crane," she smiled. I nodded, put the book down and stood up. I looked at Lily and muttered goodbye as I followed Jenny out of the room. We walked in silence for a while, when Jenny spoke it made me jump slightly. "It's nice you've started to make friends with someone, she seems like a nice girl." I replied with a shrug, after that we walked in silence yet again. Finally we arrived at Crane's office

* * *

"How are you feeling today, Alice?" Crane Asked. I shrugged. It had become quite a habit as I wasn't up to talking much recently. "I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

"You can't help me..." I mumbled, "I don't need any help..."

"Why do you think that?" I looked at him and opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. I sighed, trying to pluck up the courage to tell him about the dreams and what Bella had been saying.

"I'm not strong enough," I said, looking away, "I...I keep having nightmares."

"Of what?" I shook my head and stared at the floor. He didn't say anything else, it was quiet for a while. I heard a clicking sound, like he was opening a briefcase. I looked up but all of a sudden, my vision was impaired by a cloud of smoke which made me cough. I stood up and backed away, starting to panic.

"D-Doctor Crane?" I called for him but he didn't answer. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I spun around to see who it was. I froze, staring at the man in front of me. He was the man from my dream, the one who repeatedly abused and killed me over and over again. _Is this a dream? No...It can't be...It's real_, thought. I backed away from him, but tripped and fell over. Before I could get up, he launched himself on top of me. I cried, "No, please...I didn't do it, please let me go!" I could feel his bloody hands touch me, I couldn't do anything.

**It's not real, it's just a hallucination, **I heard Bella say, **calm down. **

I shut my eyes, trying to believe her. I tried to calm down, ignoring what was going on around me. I felt cold metal touch my stomach, it was knife. _It's not real_, I kept saying over and over in my head. I opened my eyes and looked at him, grinning at me. I smiled weakly, "you're not real," I felt my hand move and i punched him in the face. Stunned at what I did, I took the opportunity to kick him off and get up. _I didn't do that, _I thought.

**You can thank me later, **Bella said. I nodded and turned to run but hit something, or someone. I thought it was Doctor Crane but was mistaken when i looked up. He wore a burlap sack over is head, I saw roughly cut eye holes and a stitched in mouth. It reminded me of a scarecrow. I looked at his eyes, wondering why they were so familiar. "Y-You're just another hallucination..." My voice sounded weak and scared. He laughed and grabbed my wrist.

"Are you scared of me?" He growled. I stared as I felt Bella take over my body's actions again. I went to punch him but he stopped my fist with his own hand. I then felt my leg move, kicking him in the balls. He grunted but didn't let go, "you damn bitch!" He twisted my wrist till I felt an immense pain, I winced and started shaking. He took the opportunity to pin me against the wall. I started to feel lightheaded, **I'll take over from here, little one.** I felt as if me and Bella had switched places, I could still see everything but i couldn't do anything, I was locked in my own mind. Bella, who was now inhabiting my body smiled.

"Well hello there, you're not a hallucination," She said, "who are you?" She asked in an innocent sounding voice.

"Ah, so this is the other one," He said, laughing, "I must say, I'm a fan of your work."

"Why thank you, now if you can just let me go we can all talk this out and then we can play a little game," She giggled.

"I don't think so, I got other plans," He said, moving closer. I hated this, not being able to move my own body, _Bella! do something! _I shouted, hoping she heard me. **Okie dokie, ****I'll try and get us out of this... Now, why don't you have a little sleep. **Before I could ask what she meant, everything went dark.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for everyone who has reviewed, followed and Favorited :D

Here's Chapter 5, hope you enjoy ^^

* * *

**Everyone Lies**

I opened my eyes to see a figure kneeling by my side, looking at me. My vision was blurry and I panicked, not knowing who it was. I backed up to the wall and snapped my eyes shut. Trying to block everything out.

"Alice, calm down," I recognized his voice, "you're safe."

I slowly opened my eyes; my vision was back to normal. I looked up and saw Doctor Crane looking at me, he straightened up. "I thought you…I thought you left me…" I muttered, standing up.

"I never left you, you were hallucinating," he said. After we both sat down he spoke again, "what did you see?"

"One of the men who I…She killed," I mumbled, "He was going to kill me, but I fought back… I knew it was a hallucination," I smiled weakly.

"Anything else?" he pressed on. I thought about telling him about the other man, but it was so real. I then thought about what Bella said, about him not being a hallucination. I didn't know what to do, if he was real then was Doctor Crane involved? I shook my head.

"No…Nothing else," I replied, looking at the floor. We sat in silence for a while, but I could feel his eyes on me, studying me. I felt warm, nervous and uncomfortable.

"You're blushing," he said, making me jump.

"W-what? I'm just…It's just a bit hot in here…" I said, looking at him. He was smirking slightly, it made me go even redder.

~Crane's POV~

I looked at the young agitated, nervous girl in front of me, I couldn't help but smirk. Sure she was attractive woman, but I was more interested in her reaction to my toxin, allowing her other personality take over. I needed to experiment on her again, only her next time. It seemed as though She didn't have as much control as she thought, she doesn't remember The conversation between Scarecrow and Bella. In a way, I felt sorry for her, she had no idea what she will be involved in.

**Looks like she has a bit of a crush on ya, Johnny-boy, **Scarecrow laughed, **I prefer the other one myself, got more of a fight in her.**

_I'm not interested in what she or you think, _I pointed out, trying not to look annoyed, _I'm interested in her reaction to the toxin, once I find out what she truly fears and break her she'll be useless._

**Loosen up, try having a bit of fun now and then, **Scarecrow chuckled,** not asking you to marry the damn girl, just screw her and let off a bit of steam. If you don't, I will.**

I sighed, disgusted at his partner's thoughts.

"Doctor, are you okay?" Alice asked.

I looked at her and cleared my throat, "Yes, I'm fine."

We were interrupted by a knock on the door, it was Alice's nurse. We said our goodbyes and I was left alone, I started to write up notes on today's session.

* * *

~Alice's POV~

I sat down with my dinner in the cafeteria, thinking about Doctor Crane. I wanted to trust him, to believe he could help me. But I didn't want to get hurt anymore. I played with my food as I thought about what I was going to do.

"Hey there beautiful," a man sat down next to me, he put an arm around my shoulders, "me and my friends over there were wondering if you'd like to join us."

"No thanks..." I muttered, keeping my eyes on my food.

"Oh come on, it'll be fun," He put his hand on my thigh, "or would you rather wait till tonight." I tensed up.

**Fight back!**

I looked at the plastic knife in my hand, _not sharp enough... _I thought.

"What's wrong babe? You're not very talkative, ah well, I can think of a different way you can use that pretty little mouth," he chuckled, i turned and glared at him. I snapped and punched him in the face, causing people to look at the commotion. He fell on the floor and I jumped on him, wrapping my hands around his throat tightly. I ignored his hands scratching at my face, I don't know how long i was on him but i was dragged off by two men.

"You fuckin' bitch!" The man coughed, massaging his throat. I screamed and kicked, until I felt something sharp poke my hip, I looked down and saw a needle. I felt weak, and quickly fell asleep

* * *

I woke up on a fairly comfy floor, I looked around and realized i was in a padded cell. I tried moving, but my arms were restrained by a straightjacket. I groaned, "why did I do that...?"

**Because you're finally getting a little bit stronger, **Bella answered my question.

"What happened...Earlier, when I was hallucinating," I asked, moving over to one of the walls and leaning against it.

**Exactly that, I was the one who told you it wasn't real, **she replied.

"I mean when you took over..." I said, slightly annoyed.

**I didn't, you hallucinated the whole thing. All I did was give you some advice, **she laughed a bit.

"You're lying..." I muttered.

**Everyone lies, even your cute doctor. **

I shook my head, this can't be happening. I was supposed to be getting better, not worse. This place was changing me, I need to get out of here.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone :) so sorry I haven't updated in quite a while, I honestly thought this was going nowhere but I've had a few more people following it so i thought I'd carry on ^^ I'm not really sure I like this chapter that much but I've been out of ideas for a while so i'd like to hear your thoughts and if you have any ideas that you'd like me to hear that would be great :D Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Are we the same? **_  
_

_How long has it been…? _I asked myself. It had felt like weeks since I tried to kill that man, I was slowly losing touch with reality. I kept falling in and out of consciousness from all the drugs they were giving me to keep me weak after several acts of aggression towards the nurses and orderlies. I was starting to believe nothing was real, the only person I relied on to tell me what was real and what was a dream or a hallucination was Bella. She was like a sister, but one who kept things from me, something important. I will find out what it is. That's if I don't try to kill myself, I'd rather be dead than live a lifetime in this hell hole.

"Hello Miss Watson, my name is Doctor Bell," I looked up at the woman who had just come into the room, "I'll be your psychiatrist from now on."

"I don't want you… Where's Doctor Crane?" I asked.

"He's not here right now, let's just talk about you," she replied, "how are you feeling today?"

"Amazing, I feel like I'm on top of the world" I said, with obvious sarcasm in my voice, looking at the floor.

"Miss Watson, I need you to cooperate with me if you want me to help you," she said, sternly. I looked at her and laughed.

"Help me? I don't need or want your help!" I snapped, "You are never going to let me out of this place so why should I bother!"

"Do you want to stay in this room, in that straight-jacket?" She asked, crossing her arms.

"Of course not… I just don't see the point in pretending I'm going to get better anymore," I muttered, looking away.

"If you cooperate, you will be allowed to go back to your original room and things will go back to normal," she said, "You've behaved well this week but if you attack anyone else, you will be kept here."

_Behaved well? I'm not a fucking dog. But if I want to find a way out of here…I have to cooperate, _I thought, after a few more minutes of thinking I looked at her and nodded.

"Good, let's get started," she smiled. The day dragged on as I had to answer questions and share experiences. This new doctor, she wasn't the most patient of people, pressing me on and not at all comforting when I felt too upset to talk about certain things. My mind started to wonder, I was thinking about Doctor Crane, where he was and how I missed his company.

**Well ain't that cute, little Alice misses Johnny, **Bella giggled, catching me off guard and making me jump.

"Is everything okay Miss Watson?" Doctor Bell asked.

"Yes," I muttered. _I just don't like dealing with this annoying woman, and his name is Jonathan... He doesn't suit Johnny._

**If you like his first name so much why don't you call him it instead of calling him Doctor, **she asked, like a curious little girl.

_Because he is my Doctor, not my friend._

**But you want to be friends... No, more than friends, **She laughed, **face it, you like him.**

I ignored her and turned my attention back to the Doctor, carrying on saying whatever she wanted to hear.

* * *

It had been a day since I was able to go back to my room, without any restraints. It felt good to move and walk around, have a shower and sleep without the aid of drugs. Of course, I still had the nightmares but I'd learnt to deal with them, I knew they weren't real and I was able to wake myself up from them. But I was still struggling to not think suicidal thoughts, it seems like the only way out. But something was different, I felt as though something was missing, or someone. Did I crave his attention? No, of course not. He's a doctor and i'm a patient, that's there is to it.

The evening went by slowly as I couldn't stop thinking about that person, wondering if i'll ever see him again and where he was. I lay down on the uncomfortable bed and closed my eyes.

_I looked around the large room, at the people chatting away. They were dressed like they were at a ball, the women were beautiful and the men were handsome. I walked around, trying to make some sense of the place but my eyes rested on the large mirror in front of me. I stared at my reflection, stunned at how different I looked. My face looked fuller, and prettier. I wore a gorgeous red strapless dress that ended just below my knees. I looked like a women who belonged to a wealthy family, someone important and admired. _

_"You look beautiful," A female voice giggled from behind me. I turned to see someone. No, me? She laughed at the expression on my face. "Don't you remember me? I'm disappointed."_

_"Bella?" She nodded. I looked at what she was wearing, the same dress but black. She looked hauntingly beautiful, mysterious and someone any man would give anything for. This is what i dreamed to look like. She laughed as she walked away with a tall figure and danced along to the music. I stood watching, the man seemed so familiar, but i couldn't see his face. Was it him? I turned back to the mirror, frustrated. I hit the mirror, smashing it, expecting people to look but i was only ignored. I felt my knuckle sting a little, I looked down and almost screamed. My hands were melting, slowly, I could start to see the bones. I felt dizzy, I ran around screaming for help as my whole body succumbed to this terrifying feeling. No one looked, they were mesmerized by Bella, she was the only one to look. Smiling sadistically, she spoke sweetly, "Bye-bye my sweet little one..." I let out one final scream for help as darkness took over. _

* * *

My body ached as i awoke from that horrible nightmare, my vision was blurry and my neck felt sore.

"At last," A voice said, "I thought you'd never wake up."

I turned see Doctor Crane, my doctor. I smiled weakly, feeling a strange sensation in my chest. But the smile soon faded as he looked at me with a concerned look on his face. "What's wrong?"

"You tried to cut your own throat with your nails," he said, bluntly.

Smiling, I looked into his blue eyes, "It's not like I did it on purpose... Where were you?"

"I was busy. You should take time to think about yourself" He answered without any worry in his voice. He seemed different.

~Crane's POV~

I tried to look to look like I was worried about the pathetic girl, but my mind was far away. After the meeting with Ra's Al Ghul I only thought about perfecting my fear gas. This girl seemed to be getting in the way, I despised the way she looked at me with those longing eyes but at the same time I found her an interesting specimen. I will break her soon enough though, she will be just like the others. She seemed to be thinking more of me than what she did herself, maybe I could use her.

**We could use her couldn't we, maybe she'll help us with our other needs as well, **Scarecrow sneered, **I'll have the other one though. **

I cleared my throat and placed a hand on on her's, letting her believe she could trust me.

"I'm going to get better aren't I?" She asked, so innocently.

"Yes, i'll make sure of it." She smiled again, and closed her eyes. I stared at her intently, realizing that she was a lot more beautiful than I had first thought. For a split second I felt a warmth in my chest, what was this feeling? I turned my back on her and left, trying to focus on my work instead. But my mind kept going back to her, thinking maybe it was because of one thing. We're the same. We both have someone else within us.

_No, we're not the same. I'm just stressed about my work, _I thought.

**Of course we're not the same as them. We're superior in every way, let's just get this over and done with and get rid of them. **Scarecrow grumbled.


	7. Chapter 7

**Here's chapter 7 finally! :) I'll be putting in a bit of a twist soon so I hope it works out well. Anyway, i'll try to update the next one soon and not keep all you lovely people waiting :P enjoy x**

* * *

**Breaking Point**

"Do you ever stop talking?" I asked Lily with a tired look.

"Nah, guess that's why I have no friends… Except for you," she replied with the usual chirpiness. She then continued with ranting about everything I didn't care about. I sighed and went back to reading. I'd been in this place for a couple of weeks now, I felt like I was moving in the right direction but since I got a new psychiatrist I felt like something was missing. And I was starting to remember things. Memories. They seemed blurry though, like a dream. Bella was always there to hide them away, saying I shouldn't focus on the past but the future. Why was she so defensive?

"Alice dear, It's time to see Doctor Bell," Jenny's voice came from behind me. I'd gotten used to her randomly appearing out of nowhere.

"Great..." I muttered, standing up. Lily smiled and said goodbye, I replied with a weak smile and a wave as I followed Jenny out of the room. I hated talking to Doctor Bell, she was the only psychologist available as Doctor Crane was too busy. I kept wondering where he kept on going and what he was doing.

"So how're you feeling? After what happened," Jenny asked.

"Better I guess. I don't like the new woman though, she's not exactly comforting," I said.

"And Doctor Crane is?" She giggled slightly, "Don't get me wrong, he's good looking but he's not the kind of guy I'd like to go out with."

I scowled at her, "I didn't mean anything like that. I have no interest in going out with anyone."

She smiled, and stopped as we reached the door of Doctor Bell's office. "We're going to have to change your views then dear, I'll see you later."

I rolled my eyes and ignored her as she walked off. I knocked on the door and waited for the doctor to speak. When the door opened I expected her stern and judgmental eyes to glare at me. I was wrong.

"D-Doctor Crane?" I looked up at the young man in front of me.

"Doctor Bell has been called away; I'm covering this session just for today." He looked at me, with a slight smile on his face. It was in no means a comforting smile. I nodded and followed him into the room, sitting on the chair in front of the desk.

**You know, I've kind of missed Johnny. **Bella giggled, **Hope he makes this interesting.**

_Shut up, I just want to get through this without you making me look like an idiot._

**So you want to look good in front of him, finally admit you have a cute little crush?**

I sighed out loud, then looked at Doctor Crane hoping he didn't realise.

"Is there something wrong?" He asked, I shook my head and looked at the floor.

_Great, I made myself look like an idiot. _I thought, hearing Bella laugh.

"Well let's get started then, how have you been doing with Doctor Bell?" He said, with a serious tone in his voice.

"She thinks I'll never get better and I'll never leave this place," I answered, "I don't like her." I thought back to my sessions with her, how she always put me down. The mental conversations I had with Bella and trying to hold her back from hurting doctor Bell. I wasn't usually the violent one, but she made me so angry. Every time I went back to my room after talking to her I punched the walls till my knuckles bled. I often wondered how someone like her made it to be a psychiatrist.

"She doesn't seem too fond of you either, she's written in her notes that you're still not cooperative," He seemed to smile at this. "Are you still having nightmares?"

I nodded, "Not as bad, but I still have them most nights…" He then asked me to tell him about them, I looked at the floor; I didn't want him to know what happens in them.

~Crane's POV~

I watched her as she struggled to tell me about her darkest fears. Trying not to smirk at how timid and innocent she looked. It was hard to believe that this girl could kill anyone, even though it was the other one. They are still the same person.

**Come on, let me out! **Scarecrow was almost shouting out, **I want to hear her scream, and I've missed having chats with the other one. Better than having to talk to you all the time. **

_You'll have your fun soon enough, I doubt it would be as fun as you want it to be. She'll break easily,_ I replied. I was still in control for now, but I could feel him trying to claw his way out. Focusing on Alice again, I stood up, "ready to talk yet?"

"I... I don't know," She still wouldn't look at me. I walked behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder. I couldn't help it anymore, I was impatient. Just as she started to turn her head to look at me I set off the gas and backed away from her to put on my mask. Silly thing, she didn't even realise I took it out of my briefcase. I watched, smirking, as she coughed and fell off her chair.

**Let the fun begin**, Scarecrow laughed, still trying to push his way out. No, I was going to enjoy watching her scream and cry. I will find out her deepest fears. She was already starting to hallucinate, crying and mumbling to herself. It looked like she was trying to push someone off her, who would she be hallucinating now? I moved a bit closer, listening to what she was saying. Then I realised she was crying out my name.

"Please, Doctor Crane? Help… Why did you leave me?" She cried, "I'm alone…" At this point she was shaking terribly. I thought back to what happened the first time, when she had Bella to help her through it. Little did she know that She wasn't going to help her now, all her other self wanted was to get out of here. So she allowed me to experiment on Alice, and I would help her get out. I kneeled down and stroked her hair. Her eyes snapped open and she stared at me. Her eyes weren't the same; she looked as insane as everyone else here. Was she broken already?

"NO!" She shouted, trying to hit me. I grabbed both her wrists and held them above her head with one hand. The other I moved down to her throat, giving it a gentle squeeze. I felt my heart beating fast; I hadn't been this excited in a long time.

**Finally letting yourself having a bit of fun eh? **Scarecrow sneered.

I shook my head and loosened my grip on her. I gained control of myself and stood back up, leaving her to curl up and sob like a little child. I found it annoying so I turned my back on her.

**Why the fuck did you stop? It was just getting good. **

_I was going too far, I have to focus on my toxin. _I sighed, ripping off my mask and putting my glasses back on. Suddenly, I felt someone jump on my back.

"Hello there Johnny!" A cheerful voice giggled.

"Hello again, Bella."


	8. Chapter 8

**Got kind of bored so I decided to write up another chapter :P did it quickly but I hope it's good enough. Hope you enjoy! :) x**

* * *

**Losing touch with reality **

~Bella's POV~

I finally jumped off Crane's back, grinning like a teenage kid. "So are you going to let me out now?"

"You'll be out soon; I want to see how Alice is for a couple of days," Crane replied, He straightened himself out and sat back in his chair.

"Oh come on, let us out now," I pouted, "Pretty please." I skipped over to him and sat on his lap.

"Get off, you'll leave when I allow you to," I sighed, "you're not going to make me."

I folded my arms over my chest and scowled at him, "meanie." He stared at me for a while, making me think he was having a conversation with Scarecrow. The look in his eye changed, a smirk grew on his face.

"Hello my dear," he chuckled, "It's been a while."

I grinned at him, "Hello there, Scarecrow. Now I wonder why you've shown up." I felt his hand on my waist; he placed the other on the back of my head. He immediately started kissing me furiously. I kissed back; I put my hands on his back, pushing him closer. He forced his tongue into my mouth, making me moan slightly. I felt like nothing else mattered, wait. No. Was I falling for this deranged madman? I broke the kiss and stood up, backing away from him.

"What's up with you?" He asked with an annoyed tone.

"I don't know," I replied, "this is weird… I've never wanted it so much."

He stood up and pushed me back against the wall, I felt his body against mine. I laughed, "This is going to be so much fun, sticking around might not be such a bad idea."

"Yeah, you're not gonna be able to walk once I'm done with you," I felt his breath on my neck, and suddenly felt him roughly grab my breast and started kissing me again. I moved my hand downwards, placing my hand on his crotch. He was obviously excited; I massaged it, making him moan.

When things got a bit more heated he stopped, "why stop now?"

"Johnny-boy thinks we should stop for now, running out of time." He said, still feeling my body.

"No fun, but we don't have much time left. Until next time then," I said with a seductive smile. He grabbed my throat, catching me off-guard.

"Just because I want to fuck you doesn't mean I like you," He laughed, "But you are an interesting one." He backed away and let Crane take control.

"Didn't even say goodbye," I muttered, coughing slightly. I looked at Crane and sighed, "Thanks for cutting in when things were getting good. Oh well I need to tell you something anyway."

"What?" He asked.

"When she hallucinated, she saw our father. She can't remember what happened, if she does then she'll change… We both will," I answered, rubbing the back of my neck, "It would be a pain in the ass."

"How so?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. He was becoming more interested, maybe she wasn't going to end up like all the others after all.

"Just don't let it happen. Till next time doc," I smiled as I descended back into the darkness of Alice's mind, letting her take control again.

~Alice's POV~

I opened my eyes and looked around the room, I felt groggy. My eyes focused on Doctor Crane, "W-What happened?" He held out a hand, I took it hesitantly but tripped as I stood up and fell on to Doctor Crane. I couldn't move, he just felt so warm.

"You don't remember anything?" He asked, placing a hand on my head.

"No, I just remember coming into the room and that was it," I answered, I had a warm feeling in my chest. We stood in silence for almost a minute when I realised what was happening. I looked up and took a step back, "I'm sorry," I looked away as I felt my cheeks grow warm. There was a knock at the door and Jenny walked in, I was glad to see her for once.

"You guys finished?" She asked, smiling at me.

"Yes, I hope you continue to improve with Doctor Bell, I'll check in now and then to see how you're getting on," He said, looking at me with a strange look in his eye. He looked like he wanted to tell me something, but he didn't. I nodded and said a quit goodbye as I followed Jenny out of the room.

* * *

I lay on my bed, trying to think about what happened today. Why can't I remember?

**You should stop thinking about things you don't understand. Just know we're getting out of here soon. **Bella said, making me jump.

_What happened? Why is everyone hiding things from me? _

**For your protection idiot, and don't get close with him. I've told you before; all he'll do is hurt you.**

_I didn't mean to… It just felt nice… Why do you sound so serious now? You're usually bullying me and making jokes. _

There was no reply, what was going on? _Fine, don't reply. I'll find out sooner or later. _

I lay on my side and closed my eyes, wanting to sleep but kept thinking about him. How warm and comforting he was. Was it sympathy? Or does he think I'm different from the rest? I didn't know what to think anymore, I was scared to fully trust him. I wanted to though, I need someone. Someone who was real. Am I even real...Is any of this real?


	9. Chapter 9

**Here's chapter 9 :D I quite enjoyed writing this because it's given my lots of ideas for the next few chapters. Hope you enjoy ^^ **

* * *

**Curiosity Killed The Cat**

I lay in bed, shivering; Thinking about my past. The missing gaps in my memories I've been trying so hard to remember, but she was always there to put me down and stop me.

"Why is it so cold…?" I muttered, pulling the thin sheet around my thin body. It was early in the morning and I hadn't had any sleep, too frightened that I'll be trapped in a never ending nightmare. But even if I'm awake, I can't escape from anything, in this wretched place I'll never be able to leave. A living nightmare. Maybe I do deserve this, what am I really…Just a murdering lunatic. I took a look around the small room, the same dull, cold walls making me feel like I'm in a prison.

**Well aren't you in a cheery mood. **Bella stated, taking notice of my depressed state.

"Leave me alone," I replied, with a raspy voice. I felt ill, tired but needed to stay awake.

**Come on little one, let's play a game, **She chirped. I turned over and groaned.

"Why? All you enjoy doing is hurting people for your own pleasure," I said.

**I only hurt people who deserve it, and it's entertaining watching grown men cower in fear of us, **she laughed. I shook my head and stayed quiet. I hated her thinking like that, she put me in this place and I wasn't going to let her destroy my life any more than she already had. I pushed those thoughts aside, trying to think of something else. One thing came to my mind, Doctor Crane. He was someone who I felt I could be myself around, he was cold yet motivating. His eyes were a perfect shade of blue, piercing through me like he could see into my soul. The way he held himself, like nothing else mattered, only his work and yet I found that there was a different side of him I had yet to see. Still, I aspired to be like him, I wanted to know more about him but I was afraid of what might happen if I thought of him more than just my doctor. I smiled, remembering the way he stroked my hair and how it made me feel. But I know there wasn't anything more I could do, I will always just be another patient to him, nothing more.

A week had passed; I was starting to become frailer. I wasn't eating, barely sleeping and I was slowly beginning to feel like all of it was just a dream. I refused to leave my room other than to have my sessions with Doctor Bell. She was an impatient woman, and so I gave up and stopped talking to her.

"What's wrong hun? Why won't you let us help you?" Jenny asked. I forgot she was in my room. I shrugged, staring at the floor.

"Do you want to talk to Doctor Crane?" She asked, trying to get me to talk. I looked at her at the sound of his name and nodded.

"I'll see how busy he is," She smiled slightly, and left the room.

**Maybe you'll be a bit more cheery once you've talked to Johnny, **Bella said.

"Shut up, I just think he's the only one who can help me in this place," I sighed, standing up and stretching.

**Someone's a bit grouchy, ever tried sleeping? **She mocked, if she was a real person I'd have punched her right now.

"You know what happens when I dream, I don't want to keep going through that," I replied, trying to stay calm. I walked over to the door and opened it slightly; Jenny must have forgotten to lock it.

**Oh come on, let's get out of here and do something fun for once, **Bella laughed with excitement. Admittedly, I felt the same. This new sense of freedom was just the thing I needed. I slowly walked out, checking if there were any orderlies around and saw none. I ran to the elevator and pushed the button hard, I was finally letting my curiosity get the better of me. It took almost a minute for the doors to open and I stepped inside and looked at the buttons inside.

"Which one should I press?" I asked.

**Any, let's just see what happens, **she replied. I smiled, closed my eyes and pressed one. I opened them and watched the doors close and the elevator started to move. I leaned on the side and felt my heart beat faster and feeling light headed from lack of food and sleep. What the hell was I doing?

**And to think I thought you'd lost your sense of adventure, **Bella laughed.

"This is mad, but I guess it could be fun… Or really bad," I said, trying to think positively. And so, I waited for it to stop which took a while. Causing me to get agitated, and finally the doors opened. I peeked down the corridor and stepped out of the elevator. The corridor had a cold feeling to it, it was new to me and I felt like running back to my room and not coming back.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I asked Bella, needing her to comfort me.

**Of course, it's just a bit of fun. Don't worry, if anything happens I'll take care of it, **she replied. I nodded and started walking. Looking at the doors as I passed, wondering what or who was behind them. I stopped at one, and took a peak through the bars at the top of the door when a huge bang from the other side made me jump back against the wall. I managed to hold back my scream but I was still frozen, staring at the dark eyes peering through the bars and looking straight at me.

"Well look what we have here, been a while since a saw a girl 'round here," the man chuckled, "Come on babe, I don't bite… Much."

"I… I'm s-sorry, I should go…" I stuttered, feeling like my old trapped self again. I heard other voices, other men from behind the doors. Laughing, shouting and whistling. I got scared; I slid down the wall and hugged my knees. "Shut up… Just shut up!" I cried, not being used to being in this situation. I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder, in a panic I slapped the person and fell back onto the cold floor then immediately regretting what I did. "D-doctor Crane… I'm sorry I did that, I was lost… And I got scared." I looked at his face trying to read his expression, I didn't know if he was angry or not.

"It does not matter," He said, calmly and held out his hand. I stared at it for a few seconds then took it. Once I was up he held my hand tightly and pulled me back to the elevator, his grip was painful on my small hands. We stood in silence as the elevator went back up, he still had hold of my hand and I was trying not to let myself get too upset. I didn't want to disappoint him, and now he's definitely going to think I'm just another mad idiot.

* * *

We sat in his room, he was writing something down. I looked at the floor, afraid to look at him.

"You are not to go down there again." He finally broke the silence. I nodded, still not looking at him. "Care to tell me why you were there in the first place?"

"I…I don't know, I was just… Exploring I guess…" I muttered, finally looking at him, at his eyes. I immediately felt my heart beat faster. He raised an eyebrow.

"Exploring?" He asked curiously.

"Yes… I was bored," I replied with a quiet voice.

"I've been told that you've been refusing to leave your room, why the sudden urge to explore?" He carried on with the questions but I was tired of talking. I shrugged. We looked at each other for a while, till I finally shrunk down in the chair and looked back at the floor again. "And you haven't been eating; from the looks of it you haven't been sleeping either."

"I don't see the point in trying to get better, I'm never getting out of here," I said, surprising myself at how bitter I sounded.

"You may surprise yourself one day," He said, I looked at him and laughed causing him to raise an eyebrow.

"You don't know me! Don't tell me I'm going to get better and have a good bloody life after this because I know I won't!" I shouted, trying to hold myself back from trying to hurt him. I didn't know what was happening to me. Why was I getting so angry?

He cleared his throat and stared at me, studying me. He was smiling, "Well you seem to be quite surprising Alice, I never thought you'd be the type to display violent behaviour."

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me," I said, apologetically. "Can I go back to my room? I'm feeling tired." He nodded.

~Crane's POV~

I watched Alice as she left the room; she seemed to shock herself with being angry.

**She's an interesting one eh? Johnny-boy, **Scarecrow laughed in amusement.

"It seems so," I replied, "I wonder what would happen if she remembers her past." I was becoming more curious about this girl, thinking of how I could use her to my advantage.

**She looked pretty sexy when she was angry, when you gonna make a move? **I sighed at my partner's thoughts. This girl, she was indeed different from the others and perhaps there was strength in her that she'll find herself. But I wasn't going to give into temptation, though admittedly I'd been thinking about her more than I should do.

"This is ridiculous, I have too much work to do to bother with things like that," I snapped back.

~Alice's POV~

I stood with my back against the door, confused at what I'd just heard. Was he talking to himself? And why was he thinking of my past? I started walking back to my room; my mind was filled with thoughts and ideas. I knew there was something going, and no one will stop me from finding out the truth. The truth about me and about Jonathan Crane.

**You'll regret it little one…Curiosity killed the cat you know... **I heard Bella's voice in my head, but ignored her. She just wants to be the one in control. Not anymore, I will get stronger.


	10. Chapter 10

**Here's the 10th chapter :D Hope you enjoy! ^^ **

* * *

**Memories**

"_Alice!" His voice shouted my name, he was drunk. I sat in the corner of the room, hugging a small teddy bear close to my chest. Night after night I had to go through the same torture, weak from the night before, bruised and broken. Then the footsteps came, he was coming. _

"_Hey, bitch!" He said, drunkenly, "Where the fuck are you?" _

_I held the bear closer, jumping as the door burst open. I stared in horror at the man glaring down at me, the smell of alcohol made me feel sick. "Aren't you gonna call your little friend?" He laughed. _

"_She doesn't like you, she told me to tell you if you don't stop then she'll stop you…" I muttered, tightly gripping the bear, shaking slightly. _

"_Oh really?" He spat, grabbing the bear out of my hands. "Little old for shit like this aren't you?" He laughed and tore its head off. I watched as he through it to the floor and grabbed my wrist, pulling me up, "no one's gonna hear you and no one's gonna stop me." I kept my eyes on the bear's head, trying to hold my tears back. I suddenly felt an immense pain as he punched me in the stomach, which was already bruised. He let me collapse on the floor and kicked me so I was lying on my back; time after time he kicked me in the abdomen and chest. There was a metallic taste in my mouth which I recognised as blood, I spat it out and it dribbled down my chin. _

"_Please… No more," I gasped, as he stopped beating me. I looked at his face, all I saw was a cruel grin and everything went black._

* * *

I lay on my bed, trying not to think about the past. What happened shouldn't matter to me now, but the more I wanted to find out the truth the more I thought about that evil man. I thought about the recent events instead. I'd spent some time in this place now; I've grown sick of trying. But I still wanted to know all the secrets that were being kept from me, and now there was this whole thing with Jonathon Crane. Who was he talking to when I left the room? Was he simply talking to himself or was it more than that…? Was he like me? It only made me more drawn to him, yet I still felt angry. I hated the company of most people, and I started to believe the Doctor Crane wanted to help me; he made me believe I could trust him and now I know there are things he isn't telling me.

**Leave it be, you're overthinking things, **Bella groaned.

"Don't pretend to care," I said, turning on my side. I heard her sigh and she said nothing else. I had the feeling that she was worried, I shut my eyes and ignored these feelings. I used to think that Bella wasn't with me before any of this, but I've been thinking more recently. I was starting to remember her in my past. I smiled as I thought of my younger self; I used to think that Bella was some sort of guardian angel or something like that. I was so happy when she came to me out of nowhere.

* * *

_I came home from school early, ditched the last class because I wanted some peace and quiet before my parents came home. I slumped down on the couch and closed my eyes; do normal people feel this lonely? _

_**Hey missy! **__A loud female voice chirped, __**you're never alone. **_

"_Who's there?" I asked, jumping up. I looked around the room expecting to see someone but it was just me. _

_**You can't see me, let's just say only you can hear me, **__the voice laughed. _

"_Why can't I see you?" I asked, walking around, making sure this person isn't hiding somewhere._

_**I have no body of my own… Just yours, **__she said in her chirpy voice. A shiver went down my spine. _

"_M-my body?" I looked at myself in the mirror, expecting to see something strange but just saw my reflection. _

_**Don't be scared, I'm your friend. I'll always be here whenever you need me, we're gonna have so much fun together! **__Her voice was so real, but I was just imagining it. Wasn't I?_

"_What's your name?" I asked, nervously._

_**Bella, it's a pleasure to meet you, **__she giggled like a little girl who just found something new to play with. _

_I nodded, still looking at my reflection. This was mad, but it was a miracle, I had always wanted a friend but I had never managed to keep them and everyone else thought I was weird. I had no idea if she was real or not, but she felt real and that was all that mattered. I finally had a friend._

* * *

"Hey you," a familiar voice brought me back to the present, I looked up at the open door and saw Jenny smiling at me, "how're you doing?"

"Okay," I muttered, I watched as she brought in a plate of food and sat at the end of my bed. I looked at the food and felt ill, "I'm not hungry."

"You're getting thin, you need to eat," she said sternly, with a concerned look on her face. I sat up and snatched the plate from her hands and stared at it. "What happened to you? You used to want to get better but now you just seem to not care."

"I still want to leave; it's just that I don't think I ever will… Why bother trying," I answered as I started to eat the food.

"I think you should try, you're a strong young woman who doesn't belong in this place," She sighed and walked over to the door, "I'll be back later."

I nodded goodbye and carried on eating the tasteless food till the plate was empty. I stared down at it, thinking about how I should get Bella to tell me the truth. Is sighed and threw the plate at the floor and watched as it smashed into pieces, I picked up a particularly sharp piece and held it to my wrist, "Bella… Tell me the truth."

**Idiot, what truth? **Bella asked, **anything in particular or should I just say anything that I can think of to shut you up?**

"You know what. What does Doctor Crane know about me? Who is he really? And why do I keep thinking about my father… Why am I remembering things that I didn't before?" I cried, pressing the ceramic shard onto my wrist.

**You're paranoid; there is nothing to say on the matter, **she sounded different. I sighed and cut deep into my wrist and took the shard away from it, I watched as beads of blood dripped down my arm. I tried not to think about the pain as I turned my attention back to Bella. I raised the shard to my neck, "I'll do it, all you need to do is tell me everything or I kill us both."

**Alice. You won't like it, but I know make stupid mistake if I don't tell you. I'll tell you everything, just calm down, **she said, she was trying to stay calm. I felt something stir inside me, excitement.

I laughed and my impatient nature took over, "You're afraid, you'd rather deal with the consequences which could ruin our lives than die. Doesn't matter anymore, just tell me."

I felt her worry, her sadness and anger. She wasn't as strong as I thought she was, but then the moment was over in a second. The door opened and I saw an orderly looking at me, I had forgotten I still had the piece of the plate against my throat. He ran at me and pushed me to the ground, he shouted out and another person came in. I struggled against his grip, shouting and spitting at him but I couldn't escape. I felt a prick of pain in my thigh and I felt hazy, my movements became sluggish and I couldn't form proper words. My breathing was heavy as I tried to keep my eyes open, but eventually the closed and I fell asleep.

* * *

I woke up unable to move, there was a single bright light that hurt my eyes and I realised where I was. I was back in a padded room, with a straight jacket restricting my movement. My mouth was dry and I flipped over onto my back, my eyes adjusted to the light and I saw a figure standing by the door. I looked at his handsome face; he looked at me with smile. He looked like he had just trapped a mouse in a cage, with a cruel intent in his eyes. I suddenly felt a wave of fear come over me; I couldn't move or look away from him, "Doctor Crane...Why are you here?"


End file.
